My Winter Child, For You
I rush for candles. Birthday cake. Presents. Pinata.
So many small children, circling like sharks, their hands like fins...whispering. Singing, now we are raising our voices to celebrate her arrival, five years ago today she was born and welcomed and I would have welcomed you, too, small soul...if only...
I'm scared to move.
If I do, you will exit this world faster. If I am SILENT maybe you will cling to the walls of my pelvis and scream, "No! I am not ready! One more chance, just one!" And I will hear you, I will listen. I will respond, I will grant you your moment. I have to cut the cake, I have to serve drinks, I have to hold the pinata still one more time...
I have to move.
My legs are weak, I am tired. I am hopeful but I know this is the end, we're finished and it's over and you didn't have the strength. I didn't have the strength. We're mutual in this, we signed a pact in blood...neither of us were convinced we could do our job correctly, we termi